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Concept of Women and Marriage in most Indian Societies
I have seen that in most patriarchal societies, a woman is 'bred' and 'subjected' to practice the customary ways of understanding the social experiences through the man, thus building a belief and staying off the man's dominion. The woman is allowed to see the world only through what 'her man' has to say.
The man subdues the woman all the way through. At one point, the woman somehow breaks free, but falls short of experience and confidence to face the big 'new' world. Even as an unmarried woman in the household, the woman is bound to the security of her feminity by the mansion and the family. Only when she is married is she allowed the luxury of venturing into the pleasures of a new realm of fancy called love, which is otherwise considered shameful before marriage. A woman is married to a strange man, often ravenous, who ravages her long guarded virginity. This, a woman has to accept as a privilege despite being repulsive and far from her liking. Within a span of hours, she is expected to deliver herself selflessly to the man and devote her service to his family, forgetting her maternal home, as they would have already DISOWNED her by way of 'kanya-daan'. She is let to swim in deep waters with no life guard or hope henceforth. To her hope becomes a deceptive horizon. She has to cater to the demanding needs of her in-laws and her husband and should be on the guard lest she upsets them all. She is expected to act as an equipment of pleasure for her husband, at the same time be subordinate; and also put up with his insults. Even if the husband and his family treat her like dirt, she is supposed to worship them for gifting a reincarnated life from the earlier sinned life at her maternal home. This, ofcourse, is far from the truth but is inevitably the attitude of the in-laws.She is expected to accept even the nastiest character of her husband as virtuous. She becomes submissive thus, resigning to the lot.
This poses a serious threat, sometimes, when the woman ralizes her 'natural limitations' as a comflicting basis of the man's self- centred concerns. Freedom of thought and action are exclusively male pursuits, from which the woman is excluded or rather 'ought to' be excluded, as it is generally considered. Handling the men and society required the dual management of the woman both as a 'woman' as well as an 'indian woman'. The spirit ruling the goodness of marriage is a wife's 'subdued' service to her husband and his family. The woman is seen either as a wife or a mother and seldom as a woman or an individual. And ofcourse this explains her dedication, most of the time compulsive willingness, solely to her own family's well being more than herself all her life; specially when she marries, she closes herself from self- discovery. A woman allows her sensible character to assert itself as an indubitable self-sacrifice to teh services of her husband - the Supreme and to uphold the purity of her race by resisting the seductive pull of freedom from 'bondage', which would trespass the borders dividing wifehood and womanhood. Thus the woman starts to deviate from concrete reality to abstraction when they are not 'rewarded' with marriage - the big logical mistake of the elders and society!!
The man subdues the woman all the way through. At one point, the woman somehow breaks free, but falls short of experience and confidence to face the big 'new' world. Even as an unmarried woman in the household, the woman is bound to the security of her feminity by the mansion and the family. Only when she is married is she allowed the luxury of venturing into the pleasures of a new realm of fancy called love, which is otherwise considered shameful before marriage. A woman is married to a strange man, often ravenous, who ravages her long guarded virginity. This, a woman has to accept as a privilege despite being repulsive and far from her liking. Within a span of hours, she is expected to deliver herself selflessly to the man and devote her service to his family, forgetting her maternal home, as they would have already DISOWNED her by way of 'kanya-daan'. She is let to swim in deep waters with no life guard or hope henceforth. To her hope becomes a deceptive horizon. She has to cater to the demanding needs of her in-laws and her husband and should be on the guard lest she upsets them all. She is expected to act as an equipment of pleasure for her husband, at the same time be subordinate; and also put up with his insults. Even if the husband and his family treat her like dirt, she is supposed to worship them for gifting a reincarnated life from the earlier sinned life at her maternal home. This, ofcourse, is far from the truth but is inevitably the attitude of the in-laws.She is expected to accept even the nastiest character of her husband as virtuous. She becomes submissive thus, resigning to the lot.
This poses a serious threat, sometimes, when the woman ralizes her 'natural limitations' as a comflicting basis of the man's self- centred concerns. Freedom of thought and action are exclusively male pursuits, from which the woman is excluded or rather 'ought to' be excluded, as it is generally considered. Handling the men and society required the dual management of the woman both as a 'woman' as well as an 'indian woman'. The spirit ruling the goodness of marriage is a wife's 'subdued' service to her husband and his family. The woman is seen either as a wife or a mother and seldom as a woman or an individual. And ofcourse this explains her dedication, most of the time compulsive willingness, solely to her own family's well being more than herself all her life; specially when she marries, she closes herself from self- discovery. A woman allows her sensible character to assert itself as an indubitable self-sacrifice to teh services of her husband - the Supreme and to uphold the purity of her race by resisting the seductive pull of freedom from 'bondage', which would trespass the borders dividing wifehood and womanhood. Thus the woman starts to deviate from concrete reality to abstraction when they are not 'rewarded' with marriage - the big logical mistake of the elders and society!!
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