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Why dowry from females?

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  • Why dowry from females?

    I don't get why has most cultures dowries come from the woman's side. Shouldn't it be the opposite (assuming that the man is supposed to provide and protect his woman). I think men should give the dowry. It shows how well they can provide .

  • #2
    On Dowry
    =======

    Earlier in Ancient time Dowry was given to Girls when she was marring and moving into to his hubby house at that time, girls family were used to give wealth (i.e. dowry) to their daughter as she will be in new place in new environment so she must not be financially week because at that time after marriage girl were not used to get right in property of their father family but she used to get right in property of his husband.

    Now In present scenario in India law has change Girl does have right in property of his father as well as his husband.

    So people those who were not able to understand this love of parent towards their daughter in ancient India, Believes it is a custom to get dowry and to give dowry.

    In India it is Illegal to take Dowry.

    “Taking dowry is against the law, but in the interest of getting the girl married, in most of the cases this is never publicized.”

    I will also say ....rich girls father tries to buy husband for their daughter, they all want their daughter to be more secure financially so they always tell boys parent that we will give you good dowry if you accept the alliance of our daughter with your boy.

    Here boy may be very qualified like technocrat, Doctor, lecturer, Lawyer, Journalist, Administrative officer etc.

    I have friend his name is Pushkar Prabhat Saxena I know him from my childhood he said that he don’t need dowry during process of his alliance, girls family said there is some problem in boy why they are not asking for dowry, otherwise he is software engineer highly paid having good money financially strong, good guy mature sensible but still his first alliance was broken like this. But right now he is married and living happily.

    So as per experience of Pushkar he said If some one gives you dowry you take it don’t say anything, and if they don’t give its their wish. You just don’t say you need or you don’t need.

    So it’s not only boy’s fault or boys family, females parent are also involved in that.

    Frankly speaking I am boy I know my parent will not ask for dowry because I know them & they taught me Dowry is bad evil in society. And In case if any family member say which is not possible in my case I will not going to listen them, I know I am male once I am married my parent and other family have to accept my choice ..I AM INDEPENDENT & SELF DEPENDENT.

    Boys do have to get up against this evil and they have to say no to Dowry. They should understand one day they are going to be father of any girl.

    There were incidents in the last few years where some girls walked out from marriages protesting against dowry. This has caught media's attention, & for every once information the name of girl is Nisha she is now married with some other guy.

    Now The Dowry has changed in some other form…e.g. Software Engineer Boy need Software Engineer Girl or doctor or girl doing some job or professionally qualified.

    And professionally qualified girl also accept such alliance, Even before falling in love gal will see what is the education of boy what he do, love is not done blindly everything is calculated. Girls can say that they are equal to male but fact is that they cannot be because they always think that their husband should be more qualified than them he should be more earning. This the way girls thinks in India...

    In India if Girl is from IIM (i.e. who did management from Indian Institute of Management) she required Boy from IIM, is it like that they both can have same type of understanding if they study in IIM ? so calculation is everywhere…..

    I already had mention all this above thing on some other issue in this forum... ..I had repeated this for silverbackman

    Its me Social worker
    Sunilkumar
    "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

    Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

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    • #3
      Dowry is officially abolished in India but is still in use by some dumbo headed people who dont' understand anything.

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      • #4
        I don't think anything should be illegal. If someone wants to exchange money when two people marry let them. However there should be public condemning of it like the war against smoking here in the US and maybe looked down upon.

        But it always seems strange to me why a woman has to give the dowry. It makes more sense for the man to provide a dowry in order to "buy" his wife supposedly .

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        • #5
          dowry has taken life of thousands of women cause people are too poor to give money and in result the father from the girl's side loses honour which the girl cannot tolerate. so they suicide.

          no one wants dowry except from they boy's side. they dont' exchange money. girl's side are forced to give money. that is called dowry.

          so it should be abolished.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by India1989
            dowry has taken life of thousands of women cause people are too poor to give money and in result the father from the girl's side loses honour which the girl cannot tolerate. so they suicide.

            no one wants dowry except from they boy's side. they dont' exchange money. girl's side are forced to give money. that is called dowry.

            so it should be abolished.
            It should be stopped but the people must make the steps to do it. Why ban things? Baning ain't good for any situation. If someone wants to give a dowry let them. But the government and the ads on TV should be condemning it all the time.

            In my opinion that is how you get things done. Bans aren't the answer. We don't want India to become a communist country or authorian country.

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            • #7
              banning something doesn't make a country communist or autocratic. it is just no the rule. it is just like this.
              you cannot commit a crime.

              taking dowry is a crime in all the countries.

              so if one country abolishes murder in a country then they dont' become communism.

              banning is a step towards stopping it.
              if a law is not made then people won't fear of getting arrested.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by India1989
                banning something doesn't make a country communist or autocratic. it is just no the rule. it is just like this.
                you cannot commit a crime.

                taking dowry is a crime in all the countries.

                so if one country abolishes murder in a country then they dont' become communism.

                banning is a step towards stopping it.
                if a law is not made then people won't fear of getting arrested.
                The problem is that banning dowries is as silly as baning saris. So if I wanted to give my wife's family some money when I marry her it is wrong? It's my choice IMHO. It is nothing like murder because it doesn't infringe on other people's rights.

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                • #9
                  dowry is not what you think. dowry is when you force the person to give them excessive amount of money.

                  its like you are marrying someone and you force that girl's family to give you guys 5 million rupees or else the marriage won't take place.

                  that is called dowry.

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                  • #10
                    so its bad but its good in a sense that it secures future. What about divorce who keep the dowry?

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                    • #11
                      dowry has zero positive point. that's it.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by India1989
                        dowry is not what you think. dowry is when you force the person to give them excessive amount of money.

                        its like you are marrying someone and you force that girl's family to give you guys 5 million rupees or else the marriage won't take place.

                        that is called dowry.
                        I've never heard of "forcing" to pay dowries. If a woman doesn't have the money to pay a man who is only after a dowry then she shouldn't get married to him. This is how women should protest. They should say "If you love me you can marry me without a dowry" .

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                        • #13
                          that's the prob. when its arranged women doesn't have the courage to say anything. they are forced to pay to save their honour cause they ask for dowry on the day of marriage.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by India1989
                            that's the prob. when its arranged women doesn't have the courage to say anything. they are forced to pay to save their honour cause they ask for dowry on the day of marriage.
                            Yea but that is sort of the woman's problem.

                            The Indian government should having anti-dowry ads in newspapers and on TV all the time telling women not to accept dowries. That is how you change a taboo. Baning isn't the answer though.

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                            • #15
                              hi sunil-
                              i kinda keep reading ur messeges---just curious to know ur age???

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