Windows 95 Source code

[sajal]

Windows 95 source code leaked!!!

/*
  TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
  Project: Chicago(tm)
  
  Projected release-date:
  Summer 1994, Spring 1995
  
*/

#include <stdio.h>;
#include <dos.h>
#include <conio.h>
#include "win31.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"


/*
  Reference:
  Internal memo #99281-95 from:
     William H. Gates III
  to:
     Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project

  William H. Gates III wrote:
    "I have seriouu doubts about the 'EASY' installation-definition. It
     might prevent customers to think that they actually bought something
     _good_. Therefore I want the installation-definition to be 'HARD'.

                                                Carry on,
                                                        God Bill
    "
*/
#define INSTALL = HARD

void main()
{
  while(!CRASHED)
    {
      display_copyright_message();
      display_bill_rules_message();
      do_nothing_loop();
      if(first_time_installation)
	{
	  make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
	  do_nothing_loop();
	  totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
	  search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
	  hang_system();
	}
      write_something(anything);
      display_copyright_message();
      do_nothing_loop();
      do_some_stuff();
      if(still_not_crashed)
	{
	  display_copyright_message();
	  do_nothing_loop();
	  basically_run_windows_3.1();
	  do_nothing_loop();
	  do_nothing_loop();
	}
    }
  
  /*
    Reference:
    Internal memo #99683-95 from:
       Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project
    to:
       William H. Gates III

  Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote:
  "Dear Sir,
   Since we have found that this last piece of code within the
   'if'-statement will never execute, we descided NOT to include it in
   the final code. This way we will save atleast another 5 megabytes of
   consumer-diskspace!

                        Thank you for listening to us,
                            the executive managers of the Chicago(tm)-project
  "
*/

/*
  if(still_not_crashed)
    {
       write_cheer();
       finished();
    }
*/

  create_general_protection_fault();
}

Stolen from : http://fsinfo.cs.uni-sb.de/~abe/windoof.html

[alpha]

Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE ***
Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE):

#include <nonsense.h>
#include <lies.h>
#include <spyware.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
#include <process.h> /* For the court of law */

#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WHO_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship   another_beta_version

void main()
{
  if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
  {
    if (there_are_still_bugs)
      market(bugfix);
    if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
      raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
  }
  while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
  {
    make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking,it_will_be_3D);
 /* Standard Call, inlie.h */
    if (rumours_grow_wilder)
      make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_pray);
    if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
    {
      market_time=ripe;
      say("It will be ready in one month);
      order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
      order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
      order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
      vapourware=TRUE;
      break;
     }
  }
  switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
  {
     case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
       say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");
       break;
    case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PRAY_THING_WORK:
       say("Yes it will work");
       ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
       pretend(there_is_no_problem);
       break;
     case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
       say("It will run on lightning speed due to"
       " the 64 bits architecture");
       inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
       inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"
       "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");
       inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
       get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM); break;
     case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
       say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for
       everyone");
       register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
       when(time_is_ripe) {
          arrest(journalist);
          brainwash(journalist);
          when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree) {
            order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");
            release (journalist);
          }
       }
       break;
   }
   while (vapourware)
   {
     introduction_date++; /* Delay */
     if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
       break;
     say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);
  }
  release(beta_version)
  while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
  {
    bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
    release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
    introduce(more_memory_requirements);
    if (customers_report_installation_problems)
    {
      say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");
      if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_pray)
      { ignore(customer); order(microsoft_intelligence_agency,
      "Keep an eye on this bastard");
      }
    }
       }
    if (there_is_another_company)
    {
      steal(their_ideas);
      accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);
      hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
      wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
      buy_out(other_company);
    }
  }
  /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at
     us */
  order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
  buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem);
  laugh_at(everyone,
for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version); }


void bugfix(void)
{
  charge (a_lot_of_money)
  if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
    say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");
  if (still_complaints)
  {
    ignore(customer);
    register(customer, big_Bill_book);
    /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
  }