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  • American Needs advice

    Hello. I was looking for information on Indian dating. Let me start by describing the situation first.

    I am a Masters student at an American University. Recently a young lady from India joined the Masters program on as an international student. We were put in to a team project together. We have gotten along well, and I find her highly intelligent, and extremely beautiful.

    Now my delima. I am rather ignorant on Indian culture, though I am willing to learn as much as I need to. I would like to ask her out in a social setting, say for dinner or a movie. I do not want to offend her or behave in an inappropriate manner.

    I would like any advice you can offer in how I should proceed. How do I approach her? (or is it any different than asking a non-international student out?) What types of things should I know before I ask her out?

    Basically, I don't want to make a fool out of myself and I do not want to offend her in the process. So any advice that you can share?


    Thank you for your help.
    mac101

  • #2
    Its Difficult for me mac to answer coz .... When i was in college i proposed one gal , she told me are you goen mad, do you have any brain or not ... and she insulted me bady ... and this was not the end .... i was insulted by his friend in my hostel also.... I was very decent .. never did any thing wrong to that gal .... still faced such an embracing moment ..... And you know after that i had never proposed any gal in my life i m still single..... many gal talks with me .. i am just there friend (we can say timepass friend) .. just like dust bin of emotion for them....ha ha ha ..... Hope you will not do the same mistake that i did .. ha ha ha ...
    "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

    Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

    Comment


    • #3
      Me, I had crush with 2 girls and I lost both of them. Anyways embarrasement is just an embarrasment. Its just love and can happen to anyone. Just say it to the girl and if she disagrees then say its ok. I was just joking and you took it so seriously. See I am such a good actor.

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      • #4
        But i don't like to say lie..... like..." i was joking" to any girl who rejected my love proposal... because love is love... if any gal will refuse boy love proposal that never means boy dont love her.... ... feeling comes from heart .... it work on brain.... & if we go through brain than it is all calculation..... Accept the truth and always say true other than if you want to save someonce life who is nice & morally correct and job of honest person.
        "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

        Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

        Comment


        • #5
          Well I agree your point but when the girl humiliates you. If the guy proposes her then that doesn't mean that the girl will have to humiliate you. She can just say no and I will understand but saying no is kind of bit too much to keep quiet. Don't you think so.

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          • #6
            mac101, Im an indian guy but I will try to answer your questions to the best of my assessment. Some of my opinions below are generalizations to give a feel of situation. Specific girls may behave differently.

            Since you know the girl well enough, just ask her out for lunch or dinner casually. You dont want to make it sounding very special to drive the girl defensive. Indian girls tend to be defensive in such matters

            Try to ask questions about india, indian culture etc to find out what and how she thinks. I know some indian girls who are open to marry non indian men. What matters most is love. (Im talking about indian girls in US. I dont have contacts with indian girls in india.)

            One of the biggest concerns indian girls have about non indian men is that they may not be faithful (general assumption is that non indian men would have had many sexual/love relations before). Indian girls may feel insecure that such non indian men would dump them if better women are found. It is very important to build that confidence in an indian woman that you will be faithful to her.

            Find out her interests and see if you can involves yourself and her in such interests.

            Indian girls may not be very forth coming even if they like you. Their willingness to be with you, enjoy your energy, sense of humor, friendliness etc are positive signs, but may not be sufficient to jump to any conclusions of love.

            Indian women are also restricted because of their families. These families may expect their girls to marry indian guys only (some families are too restrictive in the sense that they would encourage a guy from the same caste to marry their girl). If you are lucky to gain the confidence of the girl, start talking to her parents if possible.

            Dont try to rush in sexual matters. Indian girls in general may not prefer sex that soon. In the worst case, be patient till you get married to the girl. Your rush for sex may be perceived as symbolic of non-indian men who are viewed as interested in having sex and then dumping the girls.

            You will need lot of patience to go through the whole process. As with any love matter, it will be worth it. Good luck

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            • #7
              GEESH. Learn to spell and speak proper English first. no 'girl' is going to be impressed with bad grammer. But still I wish you good luck.

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              • #8
                Oregon, Venky's English is quiet good. Venky, Don't worry and keep on posting in the forum.
                One thing for all, 'Never discourage anybody, if you don't have a courage to do so'.
                Megrisoft Team Member
                Search India

                Comment


                • #9
                  Oregon,
                  You are attacking the messenger here. You did not contribute anything to the post apart from that.
                  BTW, the 'ad hominem' method of attacking the messenger doesnt work always.
                  Your other statement is also demonstrating couple of logical fallacies. One dealing with a pre supposition that my grammar is bad and the other is appealing to consequences that bad grammar will not attract girls.

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                  • #10
                    venky dont give tution to mac101 for how to make indian gal fall in love .., When there is nochoice for us than only we go for international marriage other wise lot of Inidan male for us in India as well as abroad. ..
                    Making a million friends is not a miracle, the miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you when a million are against you..

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                    • #11
                      Yup that's right. I am waiting for one too.

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                      • #12
                        Priyanka, it is mac101 who has to say that I dont need to tell him anything.
                        What you said may be true that many indian girls will not go for non indian guys, but here is a guy who is asking a question for a specific girl that he knows. It doesnt hurt if we can honestly tell what we know.

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                        • #13
                          venky i will prefer American gal they are good and not shy when it comes to sex. gals globally are same, we need money to impress them, we must pamper them and give importance to her.... by this she will fall in love with you .... rest you know boys ....

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                          • #14
                            i am all out for Indian girls. thats it. They are the best.

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                            • #15
                              Im not quite sure if I would say indian girls are the best. ( Dont beat me my country women!) They may be more compatible for me due to many similarities.

                              But if we understand and overcome cultural differences, and are ready to go that extra mile in overcoming our narrowed perceptions about girls from other countries, cultures etc, many such girls are outstanding lifetime companions. Excuse me for stating the obvious.

                              I hope to overcome my 'perceptions', 'colored glasses' in reaching out for one among these

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