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  • #1

    Lies

    Guys this is my first posting hope you guys wont mind writing in few lines .. well you can understand tht i m in the same dilema as discussed below ..hope for some grt suggestions and replies ..

    how would you react if you come to know that the one you love had an relationship in the past which was more physicall and that was never being told to you, untill you probed.

    .... thx r
    .....rick
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  • #2
    Welcome to Indiabook forum.
    Megrisoft Team Member
    Search India

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    • #3
      lovey dovey <=== If i will not know about the past of my spouse before marriage than it will be very difficult for me to cope in this situation i.e. when i will know about her past, because i believe before getting married with any one we should know every thing about our spouse regarding their past affair, and they should know about our past, hiding the past is just betrayaling... And if there is no trust in realtionship than i dont think it will work. Marriage alliance should be carried on basis of truth.

      There is no alternative of truth ... accept the fact and mistake that we did in past dont try to hide. In relationship we can hide few things by saying lie but in long run it will spoil our life.

      Thats it....

      Always friend sunilkumar
      Last edited by sunilkumar; 12-30-2005, 12:41 PM.
      "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

      Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

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      • #4
        I dully agree with u sunil and that is why i posted those lines in here as i m in a big time dilema as in i dont knw wht to decide next.
        If i listen to my mind it says "She betrayed you once and quite possible cld do it again"
        If i listen to my heart it says " She is still the one you love and no matter wht u can allways forgive her"
        I think abt them over nd over again as to find out the reason behind those actions ... which led to this happenings... endless thinking for hours nd hours hve yeilded no results in so far ....
        These are one among those questions which you cant even share with one of yer best pals as u dont knw abt yer futre.
        The gal in question is not my spouse but cld hve been one if things cld hve been fine .....
        Plz comment ....

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        • #5
          lovey dovey<== if gal is not your spouse, and she is hinding her past not telling you and if you know her past which is bad.. then tell her that you came to know about her past, and at that time also if she is hiding her past.. then don't go in long term reationship with her, because she will hide many thing from you and your love life will be hell... no relation should be based on lie. I know you love her, but if she likes you and trust you then she should tell her past to you. & after knowing her past from her, you decide yourself that can you stay with that gal for whole life?

          Note:- Every one have there own preference in life. And dont take any decision by your compulsive conclusive drawing mechanism of brain... know the fact and be transparent in decision making.

          Always Friend Sunilkumar
          Last edited by sunilkumar; 12-28-2005, 02:21 PM.
          "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

          Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

          Comment

          • #6
            Once again thx Sunil for yer valued suggestion ....
            you are very rite that if she can hide and lie to me then that means she can do possibly more in the coming futre ....
            Well wht disturbed me the most that it wasnt her who came to me and said ... "hey i m sorry but i need to share something to you ...nd blah .. blah ...". Instead of that it was me who probed her or grilled her would be the right word and got wht i was looking forward to .... tht was her past ...
            To my utter surprise i also came to knw tht when i came into her life she was still in the relationship with this last guy ....
            I m really sory gals i hope u wont feel offeneded but i thought Indian gals really had a high set of morals and responsiblity ... nd i dont think it wld be tht easy for me to trust ne one in the coming futre .... neway life is a rock nd roll and i guess i had my fair share it ...

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            • #7
              Welcome to this forum lovey dovey. I am Soumo and nice to meet you. Hope you have fun with us.

              Comment

              • #8
                thx suomo .... i think thts wht i m looking forward to aprt frm few answers to my querries ....

                Comment

                • #9
                  lovey dovey I can understant it won't be easy for you to trust any one now, but be optimist because all gals are not same and all boys are not same.
                  "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

                  Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    some time it also happen that female hide their past coz they dont want to leave their hubby or fiance, female generally need security, so lovey dovey, if you are still friend of that gal and if you are comfortable with her than I believe you can marry with that gal but before that know every thing about her past....and than its upto you how to think about her ... If you think that she must be given one more chance than you can marry her other wise you can think that she will be like this only ... Its totally depend on you how much importance you give on her past sexual relationship.. & if some one will think of my past than ... God has to help me .....

                    I dont have any objection if any gal wants to marry me .. i m least bothered about her past and physical relation but i am PlayBoy for me physical realtions is just for full filling some once need and getting money
                    Last edited by Guest; 12-30-2005, 09:22 PM.

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                    • #11
                      thx sunil nd play boy for yer valued feedbacks ....
                      I wld like to answer to u first sunil ... i knw its pretty hard to trust neone after such an incident nd i wld not say that i m taken aback but yea this is real life nd things like this r supposed to happen now nd then nd i guess tht is wht wld make one strong ... realize that whtever he thinks is actually right ... make him respect his values .... nd lots of other things as well ....
                      but the dillema that i m into is that i dont feel like leting her go away from my life ... i mean so many times i did thought that i wld just call it off .. i mean even our friendship .... nd let her go ... but then my heart doesnt feels the same ... i guess i still love her ... but i donno i wld be able to make her my wife .... u knw, u gotta hve some respect for someone to get her into yer life. She says that she still love me ... but i donno she wld be able to ever loyal to me or not ... in the futre ...
                      To you Play boy ...
                      Play boy marriage to me is a one time decision ... its not like you can give some thing a try and marry a gal to check out wht its feels like ... if it works then okay otherwsie [I]...BOOM... [/I] nah... if it was something of that sort then their would hve been no difference between MARRIAGE nd a LIVING RELATIONSHIP ... I understand their are tons of ppl in around on this planet with different views and different way to look at things ... nd i guess we shd respect each others way of thinking .... nd plz dont take me wrong ...
                      but i think "god made u a virgin when u were born so as to tell you that give it one who u belong to ...." i think the last line is self explanatory .....
                      COMMENTS PLZ

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                      • #12
                        lovey dovey , i think you are not able to forget her past it is better to stop calling that girl and try to find some new girl.
                        Because every time you will fight with that girl after marriage you are going to say bad thing to her .... because you are not able to cope with this situation and you are not able to forget her past... stop calling her and try to find new gal ...
                        Last edited by Guest; 01-01-2006, 05:41 PM.

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                        • #13
                          I had crush twice and both the girls dumped me. It was my fault. I couldn't tell them clearly.

                          Well i just said these cause the discussion in thsi topic is somewhere close to this.

                          So all i had to say is that i have to find another girl.

                          So don't be sad find another girl.

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