View Full Version : The Best Airlines For Service

04-24-2006, 03:23 PM


"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain PATEL ( Boniface )

Welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Air India

We apologize for the delay (72 hours only) in taking off, it was due to bad weather
and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.

This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will
end up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in our favor, we may even be
landing on your village!

Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are
so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our
passengers have reached their destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange
to turn them off!

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve
complimentary DHARU and Wada pavw.

For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help
you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as
we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we
will be flying right next to Emirates Airline, where their movie will be
visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the
cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible
for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know.

Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and
fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who
can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who
will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."

ENJOY AIR INDIA .......! :D :D

04-24-2006, 03:31 PM
another airline joke:

This happened in JeddahAirport

One Indian passenger named Anantharaman Subbaraman arrived at Jeddah airport.

He ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name...

Finally, he got fedup and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet. They said that they have been calling him for the last hour and a half ......... were wondering why he hadn't responded!

The reason was made clear when the immigration officer pronounced his name as :
'Anotherman Superman'