Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

French girl with Punjab man: HELP

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • French girl with Punjab man: HELP

    Hello,

    My name is Amandine, I am french, 27 and my boyfriend is Punjabi, 32 years old. He lives is USA. I am sorry if the story is long but I need some help of hindi people to understand and feel better. Please.

    So we were together for 2,5 years. We had a long distance (France-USA) relationship for 1,5 years. I was flying every month to see him and was talking everyday to the webcam and emailing. We had a wonderful love story, full of passion, sharing the same values for the future and regarding the family. I am very tolerant about his religion and accept everything.

    Anyway, I moved from France 1 year ago to live with him and his family was against this kind of commitment (I mean his mother). He fight with them and then they were forced to accept me. I met with them last Xmas and they accepted me like their daughters (gifts, nice talks...). They we see each other in May, no problem. And with my boyfriend Anil, everything was perfect except some stress and tireness b/c of visa issue. Anyway, we went in France for one week to visit my parents and since we came back, I was unable to call her mum (Canada), she was always busy, not responding to the phone and his dad/brother were always saying she cannot talk now... and on the other side, Anil was fighting with her on the phone. During 15 days in Punjabi but he always said to me he didn't want to talk about this.

    Last July, he said he wanted to brake up with me due to problems we will have later (the way I manage the stress). Stupid reason. I of course tried to save our couple for 1,5 month and then I left and moved back to France this week. And he asked one of his friend to tell me it was b/c of his parents... He didn't have the courage to tell me that in front of me and let me believe something else. What a torture and a sadness. We are such in love with each other. He was crying before I leave. He is so wonderful. I think it is sad that his parents don't let him choose his patner and let him decide about his life.

    My question is: Do you think he can come back on his decision? Have you already lived such a story? Is there anything I can do? Do you think his mother can change his mind. It is already the second time something like that happen. He was engaged before and the same problem happened. Do you think he will realize that he may have done a mistake? For info, he really doesn't want to be with an indian girl and his mother wants the contrary. Please, what should I do? Should I continue my life here and let him time? Should I expect a change? I am so sad. Please.

    Thanks, Pari and hugs.
    Amandine
    Last edited by cuteamande; 08-26-2007, 01:49 AM.

  • #2
    Dear Amandine,
    After reading your story, I am very feeling. I think you were luckier than me .because you once fell in love each other.Perhaps he now is still loving you. I want to say if you are also still loving Anil.why don't you insist on ?
    China has a proverb, the age is not the question, the height is not the distance, the distance is not the root ,So long as you also fall in love with each other .
    I am a Chinese ,so please forgive my bad English.
    I am sure you will have a beautiful future.
    Come on! you will be together with your boyfriend to a certainty

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by sears68
      Dear Amandine,
      After reading your story, I am very feeling. I think you were luckier than me .because you once fell in love each other.Perhaps he now is still loving you. I want to say if you are also still loving Anil.why don't you insist on ?
      China has a proverb, the age is not the question, the height is not the distance, the distance is not the root ,So long as you also fall in love with each other .
      I am a Chinese ,so please forgive my bad English.
      I am sure you will have a beautiful future.
      Come on! you will be together with your boyfriend to a certainty
      Dear Sear,
      Thanks for your reply and your consideration. I left my country, my job, my family for him and i tried to save our couple but I didn't know until now the real reason (his mother) so I fight many weeks against an unreal problem. I think that is culture is different than the occidental one. He loves me a lot but he respects his family at the point of giving up to our relationship. So sad. But I will let him come back b/c I did so much :-) Take care.

      Comment


      • #4
        We can not satisfy every one... so we should do whatever we like.

        As per my experience i can say, Its hard to leave your love.

        Anil should leave his parent for love.

        Parents are not going to stay whole life with you, we respect parent but at the same time if they don't respect our feeling then its useless to kill our love.

        Lucky people get love ... Its good to die in love rather than killing your love for bull shit idiotic reason.
        "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

        Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

        Comment


        • #5
          Wow. This sounds similar to a situation I'm currently in. I would suggest trying to get in contact with him any way that you can and to keep that contact. He may be able to gather the strength to follow his heart if he knows you will be there with him. Try to make him understand that whatever he will go through, you will go through it with him--that you two will face it TOGETHER.

          Good Luck
          Hansho

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you

            Originally posted by Hansho
            Wow. This sounds similar to a situation I'm currently in. I would suggest trying to get in contact with him any way that you can and to keep that contact. He may be able to gather the strength to follow his heart if he knows you will be there with him. Try to make him understand that whatever he will go through, you will go through it with him--that you two will face it TOGETHER.

            Good Luck
            Hansho
            Thank you so much for your kind words... I am really depressed. Thank you to you and the persone above.

            Comment


            • #7
              Another question

              Originally posted by Hansho
              Wow. This sounds similar to a situation I'm currently in. I would suggest trying to get in contact with him any way that you can and to keep that contact. He may be able to gather the strength to follow his heart if he knows you will be there with him. Try to make him understand that whatever he will go through, you will go through it with him--that you two will face it TOGETHER.

              Good Luck
              Hansho
              In our occidental culture, woman say that if I want to keep a man, I need to let him come back and don't write to him or answer him.... I don't want to play this game. Does that work with indian man?? I am a nice person and I don't want to play, I want to be natural and let him know what I think and that I love him What would you recommend???.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thank you and another question

                Originally posted by sunilkumar
                We can not satisfy every one... so we should do whatever we like.

                As per my experience i can say, Its hard to leave your love.

                Anil should leave his parent for love.

                Parents are not going to stay whole life with you, we respect parent but at the same time if they don't respect our feeling then its useless to kill our love.

                Lucky people get love ... Its good to die in love rather than killing your love for bull shit idiotic reason.
                Dear Sunilkumar, thank you for your kind words and help. I am glad to see that even if the cultures are different, we can share the same convictions. I posted a question below, could you please tell me your point of view about this? He doesn't contact me a lot since two weeks, only 2/3 texts per week to know how I am doing and to tell me he loves me and misses me... Should I continue to write to him regularly to show him my love? or play the game of indifference to make him come back...? Thank you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Cuteamande,

                  I wish I could help you more with that question, but I am (unfortunately) not an Indian guy. Perhaps if I were then I wouldn't be going through my own situation (very similar to your own). I am in love with an Indian woman who has very traditional parents.

                  I'm afraid all I can do is answer your question from the perspective of being a guy...

                  Although guys really like to act tough and pretend like they have little to no feelings, the truth is that guys actually DO have these feelings. Just based off of my personal experience, I would advise you NOT to play any games at all. Say what you mean and mean what you say. And let your actions flow naturally with your words. That's all I can tell you right now. I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you.

                  Good Luck.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Dear Hansho

                    I am so sorry you are a bit in this situation...I hope it will be better for you than for me... It has been 2 months now and I am so desperate. Thank you for your nice advice and I wish you good luck. Woman are ready for everything for love, don't give up! Love. Amandine

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Cuteamande,

                      Tell your punjabi boyfriend that you love him

                      And also say to him that ... if he loves you then don't hesitate to express it...

                      This above word will be more encouraging and you will know the correct status of your realtionship.

                      If your bf ... still sticking to his old decision then leave him... life is to big there are many people in this world more better than your bf....
                      "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

                      Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        some news...

                        Originally posted by sunilkumar
                        Cuteamande,

                        Tell your punjabi boyfriend that you love him

                        And also say to him that ... if he loves you then don't hesitate to express it...

                        This above word will be more encouraging and you will know the correct status of your realtionship.

                        If your bf ... still sticking to his old decision then leave him... life is to big there are many people in this world more better than your bf....
                        Dear Sunilkumar,

                        I wrote to my boyfriend two long letters to tell him that I was by his side to support him, to tell him all what I think and what you said regarding the love and the family. I told him I love him so many times... I did sacrifices and he broke my heart saying there is no great way to brake up...

                        Now here is the status, I write to him to tell him about my days and he write me back everyday since 4 days to tell me about his days, that I am a wonderful person, that he misses me and loves me, that he works a lot b/c he doesnt' like to go home (we used to live together).

                        It gives me hope but is that hope or only the fact that he misses me and that's it??I don't know what to think about this.

                        I thought I knew this man who considered me as his "better half", his "soul mate", the perfect woman as he used to say. He was so happy that we live together and told it was wonderful to be able to sleep everynight by my side. He wanted to do an indian wedding with me wearing a red sari and told me someone of his family will translate in French. How could a man change his mind like that?? Before I left, he said that he will always love me and cried.

                        I keep the contact with him but try to continue my life. You are right when you say they are other people, but I also found in love with his culture, his values. Unfortunately lots of occidental man lost family, marriage values, that's sad. But I also want a man who fights for me. I think he is a bit lost. He doesn't know what he is looking for...he said.

                        I will wait as long as I can but one day, I will need to take a decision as well.
                        Maybe he needs a few weeks or month to realize something.

                        Thank you Sunilkumar :-)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Experience say, never think of your other family member when you are in love with any gal....

                          First marry that gal...so family member have only one option and that is to accept the gal as part of family.

                          Any how after marriage gal and boy have to live alone only... hardly any family member stay with them...& if they come ......they come for few days.
                          "Situation have way of changing Don’t expect help. Help yourself. The day you help yourself, it’s your First step to success."

                          Fight on my dear self, fight on. Life is a struggle, do not shirk struggle Enjoy the sweetness of life but do not stop struggle, Fight on my dear self Do not entertain fear for fear is death. The world will frighten you but fight on, dear self fight on.............

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by cuteamande
                            Hello,

                            My name is Amandine, I am french, 27 and my boyfriend is Punjabi, 32 years old. He lives is USA. I am sorry if the story is long but I need some help of hindi people to understand and feel better. Please.

                            So we were together for 2,5 years. We had a long distance (France-USA) relationship for 1,5 years. I was flying every month to see him and was talking everyday to the webcam and emailing. We had a wonderful love story, full of passion, sharing the same values for the future and regarding the family. I am very tolerant about his religion and accept everything.

                            Anyway, I moved from France 1 year ago to live with him and his family was against this kind of commitment (I mean his mother). He fight with them and then they were forced to accept me. I met with them last Xmas and they accepted me like their daughters (gifts, nice talks...). They we see each other in May, no problem. And with my boyfriend Anil, everything was perfect except some stress and tireness b/c of visa issue. Anyway, we went in France for one week to visit my parents and since we came back, I was unable to call her mum (Canada), she was always busy, not responding to the phone and his dad/brother were always saying she cannot talk now... and on the other side, Anil was fighting with her on the phone. During 15 days in Punjabi but he always said to me he didn't want to talk about this.

                            Last July, he said he wanted to brake up with me due to problems we will have later (the way I manage the stress). Stupid reason. I of course tried to save our couple for 1,5 month and then I left and moved back to France this week. And he asked one of his friend to tell me it was b/c of his parents... He didn't have the courage to tell me that in front of me and let me believe something else. What a torture and a sadness. We are such in love with each other. He was crying before I leave. He is so wonderful. I think it is sad that his parents don't let him choose his patner and let him decide about his life.

                            My question is: Do you think he can come back on his decision? Have you already lived such a story? Is there anything I can do? Do you think his mother can change his mind. It is already the second time something like that happen. He was engaged before and the same problem happened. Do you think he will realize that he may have done a mistake? For info, he really doesn't want to be with an indian girl and his mother wants the contrary. Please, what should I do? Should I continue my life here and let him time? Should I expect a change? I am so sad. Please.

                            Thanks, Pari and hugs.
                            Amandine
                            oh wow, interesting true story, Well its hard to leave a person u truly love , but if that person also loves truly , he/she should be ready to face any obstacles.. And if he is scared of all those prob's, then sorry to say , it was a one sided love..

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              post

                              Originally posted by cuteamande
                              Hello,

                              My name is Amandine, I am french, 27 and my boyfriend is Punjabi, 32 years old. He lives is USA. I am sorry if the story is long but I need some help of hindi people to understand and feel better. Please.

                              So we were together for 2,5 years. We had a long distance (France-USA) relationship for 1,5 years. I was flying every month to see him and was talking everyday to the webcam and emailing. We had a wonderful love story, full of passion, sharing the same values for the future and regarding the family. I am very tolerant about his religion and accept everything.

                              Anyway, I moved from France 1 year ago to live with him and his family was against this kind of commitment (I mean his mother). He fight with them and then they were forced to accept me. I met with them last Xmas and they accepted me like their daughters (gifts, nice talks...). They we see each other in May, no problem. And with my boyfriend Anil, everything was perfect except some stress and tireness b/c of visa issue. Anyway, we went in France for one week to visit my parents and since we came back, I was unable to call her mum (Canada), she was always busy, not responding to the phone and his dad/brother were always saying she cannot talk now... and on the other side, Anil was fighting with her on the phone. During 15 days in Punjabi but he always said to me he didn't want to talk about this.

                              Last July, he said he wanted to brake up with me due to problems we will have later (the way I manage the stress). Stupid reason. I of course tried to save our couple for 1,5 month and then I left and moved back to France this week. And he asked one of his friend to tell me it was b/c of his parents... He didn't have the courage to tell me that in front of me and let me believe something else. What a torture and a sadness. We are such in love with each other. He was crying before I leave. He is so wonderful. I think it is sad that his parents don't let him choose his patner and let him decide about his life.

                              My question is: Do you think he can come back on his decision? Have you already lived such a story? Is there anything I can do? Do you think his mother can change his mind. It is already the second time something like that happen. He was engaged before and the same problem happened. Do you think he will realize that he may have done a mistake? For info, he really doesn't want to be with an indian girl and his mother wants the contrary. Please, what should I do? Should I continue my life here and let him time? Should I expect a change? I am so sad. Please.

                              Thanks, Pari and hugs.
                              Amandine
                              oh wow, interesting true story, Well its hard to leave a person u truly love , but if that person also loves truly , he/she should be ready to face any obstacles.. And if he is scared of all those prob's, then sorry to say , it was a one sided love..And i will suggest u to move on , i know its very very hard, but good for future...
                              Last edited by naikee; 10-07-2007, 05:38 AM.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X