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  • Need Help

    hi
    i am new here...i read many views about marriage nice to known someone is their to help me....i am married for 2 years it is love marriage but my husband have change alot.....he just works the whole day.......when i try to talk is does not talk he is busy ...he gets angey with little things......he always finds faults in everything i do like cooking.etc.....he cannot understand me.....i love him alot.....please help ....please help me..tell me what should i do.....
    Last edited by shefali; 05-25-2006, 05:33 AM.

  • #2
    he just works the whole day .... he is a professional guy,,u cant blame a man for bein faithfull to his work...
    more he works..more he gets remunerated..more money u have...i suppose.

    n u seem to be an house wife. seems u dont have anything to get engaged in..
    life is not singing songs n expressin love as in movies..u husband need to work n he may have d tensions of his work

    n wat abt weekends?? if he works all round the week.,he too needs some rest n enjoyment..cant you both spend some quality time in weekends..like movies n outside dinner.

    U trust ur husband,u love ur husband...dats all..dont worry abt anythin else...n dont stand to quarrel with him for small things,n do make him happy as far as possible from ur side..
    n in ur private moments..do tell him wat u feel.... if he is a gd hubby,he will understand
    Last edited by alpha; 05-25-2006, 03:32 PM.

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    • #3
      it could also be that he also loves u and wants to save up for the future. if no one is there to turn to, then he is concerned that he has to conserve money for the future. he is very tired and irritable after tough work, so it is ur duty to understand him and help him to his needs. i am sure this won't be happening for long. wish a good life hereafter
      miqsh
      EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING

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      • #4
        Thankx for ur help.......but he does spend time with me even on weekends ....he is busy with his work.......i understand he needs to work for money....but i also need him.......i feel very lonely no one to talk....and i love to talk......u see before marriage we used tell each other all are problems but now is come have tea and sit with his computer then he will eat and go to sleep....i understand he is tried.......but what i should do i feel very lonely and i donot have any friends.......please tell me what i should do we donot spend time together............help ur friend

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        • #5
          if ur husband is in the software programming field....im not the least wondered.....these guys have the habbit of sitting b4 computers n wont think of anythin else.....
          make up time in weekends..do tell him dat ure feelin lonely and sad.... also u can open up ur heart to him evrynite.........dont put any demands..jst tell dat u r in need of his love....hear what he has to say...
          u r also in need of a good time pass.... n is it not time to have kids?? u can atleast spend ur time watchin ur kid crawling...a kid will also bring abt changes in ur husband

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          • #6
            yes alpha is right. u must speak to him although the first few times might be rough, then it shall go allright. and also having a baby would also help to soften his heart, this makes him feel responsible for the baby and shall look more into the family thereafter. have u tried to show interest in his field? he might like software talk or the magic of it. to show ur moral support u can do small things like helping him out like giving coffee after late hours to keep him awake. or learning more about his software to help him if he couldn't do it. i know it isn't easy but u could offer to do it atleast if it is too hard to learn. make him feel as comfortable as possible during the weekends slowly u will find a gradual change in him. for faster results, baby is a good idea.
            miqsh
            EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING

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            • #7
              thankx alot i will try what u have said let hope for the best......thankx for understanding me......bye ...take care.....

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              • #8
                cya hope everything works out well. I am really bad at solving these problems. So i couldn't say anything. But i hope everything returns back to normal. I wish you good luck.

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                • #9
                  It was fun reading the suggestions so far. Let me give a shot.

                  Work is just a part of man's life. If he is married, it is his responsibility to spend time with his wife. Man has to balance saving up money for future (by working extra hours) etc with the quality time he can spend with his wife/family.
                  The time that he loses now will never come back.
                  Having a baby may not solve the problem, he may just leave taking care of the baby to you and focus more on his work.
                  Try to talk to him about what you can do to help his workload, see if you can contribute in anyway, suggest if he can work part of it from home etc. Let him know you both spending time and growing together is also important. Dont try to compare others with him, as that may backfire in many cases.
                  And try to learn new skills, know about the world around, participate in outdoor activities, make yourself interesting and attractive to him.
                  All the best !!!

                  -Venky

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                  • #10
                    i can understand ur hubby's woories about your future together and the new responsibilities marriage bestows. but...but...but it is also important to spend some quality time together even if it is once a week or an evening walk or calling each other up during the day......dinner together......discussing work. afterall love is all about caring and sharing.

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